Home > Uncategorized > “Only the Good Die Young”

“Only the Good Die Young”

Hello All-

This is Alan’s daughter, Laura- the one with Crohn’s and his inspiration for everything he did here and in all the communities in which he helped so many people. I am typing through the tears to tell you that my father- the reason I am alive, the reason I am healthy, and the most important man in my life- passed away suddenly Sunday morning July 8th, 2012.

My dad was out on a bike ride with his two best friends, Harvey and Jeff, and apparently had a massive heart attack that killed him instantly.

My grandfather, his father, died of the same thing when he was 51, although he had smoked his whole life and not eaten healthfully at all. My father spent the majority of his life dedicated to not succumbing to this same fate, doing everything in his power to prolong his life and be around for me and my sisters and my mom. My dad was just shy of his 55th birthday- August 12th.

I’m not sure what I’m going to do with this blog. I really don’t know all about this stuff- I am not even sure what pills I’m supposed to be taking out of the cabinet (I was going to learn this summer before I went off to College at Vassar). If you all could send me in the right directions and help me continue his legacy, I would love that.

This is all so surreal for me. Every time I stop crying and my family and friends cheer me up, I completely forget what is going on. I can’t believe he is gone.

I will try and check this regularly along with his Facebook, but I am Laura Schachter on Facebook if you’d like to talk to me personally.

My whole life just turned upside down.

Obituaries: Boston GlobeFuneral HomeLong Island

About these ads
Categories: Uncategorized
  1. July 10, 2012 at 12:31 am

    OMG I am so sorry!!! Alan was a great help in the many LDN groups I belong to and admin. GOD BLESS the family and SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS!! HE WILL BE MISSED!

  2. Rebecca
    July 10, 2012 at 1:01 am

    So very sorry for your loss, Laura. Your dad was quite respected in the online community for his knowledge and his passion to help others. He helped me and my daughter with Crohn’s. I know that his love and concern for you were his inspiration. I can imagine that you must feel so overwhelmed amidst your grief in this time. But know that he left you a detailed roadmap of his research and beliefs through his posts and blog. And feel free to connect with the many who knew him. We would be glad to help guide you. Prayers for you and your family.

  3. July 10, 2012 at 1:13 am

    How terribly sad for you, Laura. I am very sorry for your loss. I will include your family in my prayers – xx

  4. Sherri Milenoff
    July 10, 2012 at 1:34 am

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family Laura, your dad will truly be missed.

  5. July 10, 2012 at 1:56 am

    People…i am beeing treated with a medicine called HUMIRA from Abbot laboratories and its a miracle..i gained 20 kg in 1 year and i was usually with 63 kg now im with 83kg ..it changed my life .I recomendo averybody to talk with your doctors about that medicive its only having a shot with a seringe every 15 days and its amazing.never had more problems with the Chron Disease .If i was capale maybe someone else will.Best of luck,i hope i can help somebody with this information ;)

    • Lisa Armentano
      July 10, 2012 at 10:39 pm

      Wow would Alan not like this post! Though everybody has to do what is right for them: Alan truly believed in other remedies with less risks. I just felt like I owed it to Alan to speak for him regarding biologics.

  6. Deborah
    July 10, 2012 at 2:01 am

    So very sorry for your loss, Laura. Your dad has helped so very many people in so many ways–he will be sorely missed. Stay strong.

  7. Angela Murray
    July 10, 2012 at 3:38 am

    Your dad’s blog was a massive help to me when my son was diagnosed with UC. I am very grateful for all the information he shared and my heartfelt condolences to you on your awful loss. 

  8. Steph
    July 10, 2012 at 5:49 am

    Laura, I am so sorry to hear of your Dad’s sudden death. I am sure you don’t need any of us to tell you how amazing and inspiring he was to many of us with Crohn’s. Someone posted on Sara’s wall over the weekend about diets and SCD and I half expected Alan to come along and post as he usually did. He shared his wealth of information with me personally when I wanted to know about it, and he did for many others who asked. Such a loss to all of us, but no more than to you and your family. My thoughts to you xoxo

  9. July 10, 2012 at 6:00 am

    Oh my God, I am speechless. I cannot believe this. I’m so sorry for your loss Laura, and thank you so much for being brave and strong and writing this for us to let us know the sad news. I will send you a friend request and if there’s anything I can do for you, I will try to help pay back the many favors your dad has done the SCD and LDN communities with his knowledgable support and advice.

  10. shauna
    July 10, 2012 at 6:09 am

    So Sorry

  11. hahaundermyfeet
    July 10, 2012 at 6:19 am

    WhAAAT? This is THE EPITOME OF BAD NEWS..BEYOND BUMMER! I AM SO SO DEEPLY SORRY LAURA.
    Wow…… I cannot believe this.
    I will help you, Laura… I will friend you on FB. You are most likely in shock hunnie….This is such sudden devastation… Every time a friend or family member cheers you up, you are taken out of reality for a little while….If you have any friends or family that don’t mind getting their shoulders wet with tears (don’t mind the emotions), try to spend more time with them, they are healthier for you. I know now that a shoulder to cry on is better than a tissue to turn off the tears. My mother died when I was 16. I had 6 months to prepare myself, she was my rock; the same way your dad was yours. It’s healthy you are crying. Grieving is good..Let the tears out of you. I didn’t… I unknowingly repressed the natural grieving process. Let’s just say it’s better to get it out of you than for the emotions to build within. Your body will find a way to release all the pain 1 way or another anyway. My body choose my intestines.

    Listen to me. Your dad would want you to do this. He wouldn’t want you to get sick. The very 1st thing you need to do is find out your medication regime if you haven’t already. Does anyone else know what pills you take and when? If not, don’t worry, find your doctors’ phone numbers. Get a notebook and gather yourself and say a prayer and ask God to help you before you call… He will get you through it.. Trust me, God is your rock now. You are not alone. Call all your doctors and explain to them that you need to know what meds you take and when (do you use med bars? the monday to sunday pill boxes? Those are very helpful.. I’d use them, especially now. You need to make the taking of your medication an easy process for you.. You need to also get a calendar and write the times you take your meds for each day.. after you take your meds, put a check mark next to the time. That just came to me from the sky.. I think you really need to do the pill box and calendar… Def do the calendar. When people are under tremendous amounts of stress, they forget. This happens to me. You don’t want to forget a dose and you don’t want to take too much, it could be dangerous. Plus..you dont need the added stress of figuring out what you take every day.. it needs to be a simple task & the med boxes will do that for you… easy. Make it a priority, okay?

    Your dad was a God send in my life. I’ve never met your dad or even talked to him on the phone, but I’m brought to tears…truly saddened that he is not here. He was taken way to soon… I can’t even say how sorry I am, Laura.
    Your Father helped me so much, and I know he has done the same with many many others. He even spoke with my Dad to explain some things to him. He was the man without Crohn’s, but understood the disease as a person would with the disease…on a whole other level.. A level that most people without the invincible disease will never be able to comprehend. As time passes, you’ll see what i mean. Your dad and my dad are at the ends of the spectrum pretty much. Omg! Wow.

    Laura.. I have to tell you that when you got diagnosed, your dad said “NO”… he basically laughed at Crohn’s because he loved you sooo much. He looked the Crohn in the face and was like a detective that was going to catch the criminal that messed with his daughter.. He made a decision to opened his mind to the good,bad, & ugly of the disease because he wasn’t going to let the Crohn wreck his daughters quality of life. He was so driven that he learned all he could about it and then would be very observant for changes in your body. He probably documented everything – I’m sure he did because he wasn’t the one to feel it. incredible!! He was never afraid to touch your pain! He was absolutely fearless!! By allowing himself to touch your pain in every way, he knew he’d be able to help you get rid of that pain. Everything played out as planned… What a man he was!

    He will be missed by many.

  12. Lisa Armentano
    July 10, 2012 at 7:47 am

    I am so sorry for your loss Laura! Your father leaves quite a legacy. He has helped numerous people( including myself) all stemming from his immense love for you! If I can help you in anyway please let me know. I sent you a friend request on FB. Sending prayers to you and your family.
    Lisa Armentano

  13. Roxanne Tisch
    July 10, 2012 at 7:48 am

    No words can even help here, I don’t think. I am truly sorry for your loss and your father will be so missed. His legacy will live on and you can hopefully find peace knowing how many people’s lives he has helped and changed because of all he was doing. Prayers are with you.

  14. July 10, 2012 at 7:56 am

    I’m sorry for your loss Laura, your father was so passionate about this disease and sharing the information out there with everyone. He will be missed. Prayers to you and your family

  15. venushayes@gmail.com
    July 10, 2012 at 8:13 am

    Laura,
    Words cannot and will not express my sorrow for you and your family! I hardly knew your father, but as a parent of a son who has crohns, i knew his love for you was strong and deep! I want you to know this…and I’m not exaggerating, your dad helped me survive, a horrible time in my life, with his kind words, encouragement and huge knowledge! I felt so sure of LDN and diet and supplements because of him! You are lucky to have had such an amazing man on your side! I have had crowns for over 25 years, and my son does too, I pray I do him the same justice as Alan! If you ever need to talk, do not hesitate! God bless!

  16. Jarod
    July 10, 2012 at 8:43 am

    Yor Dad is/was a GREAT MAN !

  17. Helen
    July 10, 2012 at 9:08 am

    I am so very sorry Laura your post left my eyes filled with tears how very sad when he tried to be so healthy and to look after you best he could. Please remember the good times and celebrate his life. That is all we have! (Lost my Dad to a sudden heart attack too aged 11 and he was 47). Good luck in college this Autumn I am certain your Dad is very proud of you and all you have accomplished! My thoughts are with you and your family! xxx

  18. July 10, 2012 at 9:39 am

    Alan was generous with his time and knowledge, and I know that I’m not the only one who was grateful to know him, even if it was ‘just’ online. While none of us can experience your pain, please know that you are not alone in feeling that the world is poorer without him.

    This blog is a terrific resource, and I’d encourage you to leave it here.

  19. Carolyn
    July 10, 2012 at 9:56 am

    I am SO sorry for your loss Laura. Your dad helped me so much when I was looking for other possible treatments for my Crohn’s disease after all traditional medicine had failed. I wouldn’t have learned about LDN if it wasn’t for him. I am sure you are hurting terribly and in complete shock–I think I even gasped when I read the line that he had passed away. Everything you need to know is in his blog and he had many, many friends in the IBD community who would be happy to help you in any way that they can. I follow his general recommendations, with regards to LDN and the other supplements, contained in his blog and they have helped me tremendously. If you need help locating where that information is, just let me know. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

  20. Angela
    July 10, 2012 at 10:12 am

    Laura, I am so sorry for the loss of your father and our friend of the IBD community. I loved reading the information that he posted. He will be greatly missed. Praying for your family.

  21. Anne
    July 10, 2012 at 11:20 am

    Your dad was and will continue to be a blessing to those of us with crohn’s. His dedication and information he made available for us will remain invaluable. He helped so many of us with his personal time and was always kind when discussing something with him. I will keep your family in my prayers.

  22. Inna
    July 10, 2012 at 11:26 am

    I am so sorry for your loss. My dad passed away at 66 from the same cause as yours, but he led the life similar to your grandfather. Your father’s dedication to fight CD with healthier (no evil drugs involving) options was designed for YOU to stay in remission as long as possible. My daughter was diagnosed at 14, had her resection at 17, still taking meds and now, at 27, is about to have her gallbladder surgery. CD didn’t prevent her from graduating college and medical school, and she is a second year resident now.. Please, be strong and use your father’s blog wisely. Ton of great information with links to different diets and supplements he collected for his followers. I know you were taking LDN and combinations of paleo, GAPS and SCD diet .. Also he mention you were on boswellia/5loxin, and curcumin bcm95. You are about to start your college years, it’s not going to easy to keep up with your maintenance aka diet/meds, but try to do your best to continue with your father’s protocol for you.Get familiar with his blog and let us know about your journey( at least in a few words).
    Sorry to “meet” you at this horrible time. Best wishes to you and your family.

  23. Julie
    July 10, 2012 at 11:57 am

    Laura,
    I am so terribly sad to read this e-mail this morning. Your father has been very helpful to me with my battle of Crohn’s Disease. He will be misssed by many people on this blog as I know he has helped many others.

    His dedication, love and concern for your health as well as others was an inspiration.

    Please let me know how I can help with this blog and you with your treatment. This disease is an ugly one and I am constantly fighting and looking for other treatments. I have an immunodeficiency along side with my crohn’s so I am not a candidate for a lot of the traditional meds.

    I want to help how I can because your father has helped me so much. Please feel free to stay in touch.

    May Alaln rest in peace,
    Julie

  24. July 10, 2012 at 12:17 pm

    I am so sorry for your loss. Your father and I were just starting to talk about some collaborations. He was a very astute, intelligent and generous man. He will be very missed.

    Sarah Ballantyne (The Paleo Mom)

  25. kim patrick
    July 10, 2012 at 12:26 pm

    So sorry for your loss. He was a true advocate for those of us with crohns disease. Prayers with you and your family.

  26. Rivi Peer-Tirosh
    July 10, 2012 at 12:27 pm

    I feel very sorry for your loss.
    At the same time I am feeling his loss.
    He was an inspiration for me.
    I felt confident to have him and read his blog.
    He was the only one I trusted when it came to fighting the disease.
    I would appreciate if you can tell us more about your father.
    He seemed like a crusader to me and with a lot of humiliation.
    The only thing I could say to comfort you is that you were very lucky to have such a great man as your father,with such a devotion to you and to knowledge!!!!!!!!
    He used to pay attention to everybody and tried his best to consult people.
    I am 60 years old and didn’t meet such a great man yet.
    If there is God I am sure he is going to pay him back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  27. Laura
    July 10, 2012 at 12:35 pm

    Laura,

    I was shocked and so very sad to hear about your father. I have worked with him at the bank for many years. He learned my daughter had been diagnosed with Crohn’s and immediately reached out to offer his knowledge and support. My then 18 year old daughter and I met him for coffee where he told us so much of what he had learned to help you to be well, without the toxic medicines. He had much love and pride for you when he spoke. Needless to say he guided us to the SCD diet and krill oil (which he said you weren’t a fan) :). My daughter, Candice now 22, Has a whole different life now and your amazing Dad is a part of her success. Most recently my sister and I attended his presentation in Concord. The place was packed and people were straining to hear what he had to say, the questions
    were coming fast with people wanting more from him. A while ago we both attended
    ‘eat this not that’ we were disheartened and had a few laughs about the supposed healthy info. We told your Dad about Dr lynch, that we had been seeing and thought your Dad had all the same thoughts. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you and your sisters and mother can feel some comfort in all the lives Alan touched and great pride in his compassion and brilliance. He was taken way too soon and I will miss his kindness, friendship and great smile. My prayers are with you and your family. Fondly, Laura Duncan

  28. Stacy Barca
    July 10, 2012 at 12:35 pm

    So sorry. Your father pointed me in the right direction with questions and was firm in his beliefs. I like that he stood up for what he thought was right and what he didn’t feel was beneficial. I lost my father when he was 55 and I do understand your loss. Remember the good…that is what you do. Right now, life will feel empty, but remember what a great man your father was…your biggest advocate who was also a help in many lives. He is watching down and you will feel his strength often. Best wishes and prayers.

  29. tom ducey
    July 10, 2012 at 12:55 pm

    Hi Laura, my name is Tom. I worked with your dad at Middlesex. He was awesome. I always enjoyed working with him. Last November he shared with me your college decision and was very proud of you. I lost my dad to cancer when I was 13 years old. The change is very difficult. One thing that helped me was concerntrating on how lucky I was to have him in my life for 13 years, because some kids never even knew their fathers. Each day that went by, I became a little more aclimated with what was my new life with out my dad in it. You’ll be fine because your dad would want you to be fine.

  30. July 10, 2012 at 2:05 pm

    so sorry for your loss…many thanks to your Dad for what he has done to help you and so many others…

  31. Joanie M.
    July 10, 2012 at 2:17 pm

    Laura I am so sorry to hear abour your dad. I have been crying all morning since reading your post so I cannot image how you and your family are feeling right now. Your dad was so generous to share his research and knowledge with the rest of us suffering from crohns. He answered many questions for me over the years and was always so supportive. He will be greatly missed by all the lives he touched. Your family is my thoughts and prayers.

  32. Alice
    July 10, 2012 at 2:50 pm

    Dear Laura,
    I am so sorry for your loss!
    Your dad was an great and outstanding gentleman who had greatest passion, enthusiasm and extensive knowledge to help people with Crohn’s and ulcerative colitis through CCFA community communication board and crohnsdad.com – his own website.
    I had a few communications with him last year through CCFA website about my son’s UC condition, it’s cause and it’s alternative treatment, such as LDN, SCD diet and some herbal treatments. Your dad was so warm and so knowledgeable and he replied my emails timely every time. I was so grateful and so appreciated for all his help. At that time, I felt that we were so lucky to have your dad, a such wonderful person in our CCFA community as your dad was a main very active writer there and answered so many questions to many people.
    I am so sorry again for your loss as well as so sorry for loosing your dad as our very best supporter and very best friend! I am in deep grief and shocking!
    I am sending my greatest sympathies and very best regards to you and your family.
    Please take good care of yourself and your mom.
    God bless all of you!!!
    Alan, please rest in peace. I pray for you and for your family now and forever!!!!!!

  33. Tracee
    July 10, 2012 at 3:56 pm

    May God grant your Dad his heavenly reward and comfort you in your time of loss. Keeping you in thought and prayer.

  34. Carla Stover
    July 10, 2012 at 4:40 pm

    Dear Laura,
    Words cannot express how sorry I am that you lost your father. I work at Middlesex and had the chance to work closely with him recently. He was one of the nicest people I have ever met. I will miss him very much and almost cannot believe that he is gone. I hope you find some comfort in the wondefull memories of him. Please take care of yourself!!!! I

  35. July 10, 2012 at 4:42 pm

    Laura, I’m so terribly sorry and I wish nothing but greatness to your family as life may be out of sorts right now.

    Do not worry about us, we are only grateful that you gave us your word and that you’re God willing to help us, as you help yourself. You are most important right now.

    Your dad was an amazing guy, ran a very informative web site, please don’t feel pressured to carry on this blog,

    Sending you and your family a prayer,
    Tommy

  36. July 10, 2012 at 5:27 pm

    I am so sorry for your and your families loss. My thoughts and prayers to all. Heaven truly gained an Angel. ((HUGS))

  37. July 10, 2012 at 6:06 pm

    Alan was a rockstar and an amazing inspiration. Laura, I’m thinking about you today and we’re here to support you in any way we can. May he rest in peace… and we can work together to carry on his mission.

  38. Steven Levy
    July 10, 2012 at 6:35 pm

    Laura, I am very sorry for your loss. Your father was an amazing person who was inclined to help anyone he encountered. I have returned to this blog many times to hear his insight. He will be missed by many.

    Steven

  39. amy higgins
    July 10, 2012 at 7:06 pm

    so sorry to learn of alan’s passing. all of you are in my thoughts and prayers.

  40. July 10, 2012 at 7:07 pm

    Reblogged this on My Cranky Gut and commented:
    I was saddened this morning to hear of the sudden and untimely death of Alan Schachter. Alan was a uniquely well-informed blogger of Crohn’s information, and was always generous with his knowledge and his time. I only knew him through blogging-related correspondence, but I always appreciated his knowledgeable, rational approach to disease management. You will be missed, Alan.

  41. Yoo Family
    July 10, 2012 at 7:33 pm

    We are deeply saddened the passing of your dad Laura. No words can justify, no words can comfort and he will be dearly missed. We all know that your dad will always love you and he wants you to live a wonderful life.

  42. July 10, 2012 at 7:36 pm

    Laura – I am so sorry for you and your family. My passed away at 56, and I know how sad and overwhelmed you must feel. I will be thinking of you and your family.

  43. Paul Rosen
    July 10, 2012 at 7:53 pm

    Laura, as you can tell from all of these comments, there is an entire community of people grieving along with you and your family. Your dad was a brilliant man who had an extraordinary capacity to assimilate complex scientific information into a clear vision of a better way to treat Crohn’s and colitis. As parents of two sons with Crohn’s, my wife and I were so grateful to your father, because he helped both of our sons to live healthier lives. Your father leaves an enduring legacy that will continue on through the people who are benefiting from your father’s incredible efforts. We will all miss him enormously, but we will always remember and be thankful for what he has done for those of us in the Crohn’s and colitis community.

  44. Carolyn
    July 10, 2012 at 7:57 pm

    Laura, my heart breaks for you and your family. Your dad had a profound influence on so many of us and his contributions to our online communities will be profoundly missed. I credit him with my improved health and always trusted what he had to say. He was a strong advocate for us. I hope that you can stay well through this difficult time. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  45. Lauren
    July 11, 2012 at 9:21 am

    Dear Laura,
    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.Your father lives on through all the things he has taught you about good health.Go forward in the light of this knowledge.

  46. Jill
    July 11, 2012 at 10:50 am

    I am so saddened by this news — I recently “discovered” your father’s blog and his wisdom has been very helpful. He was clearly motivated by his love for you and his rejection of toxic medical treatments. He was a focused thinker and a very smart person. My thoughts are with you and your family.

  47. Missy
    July 11, 2012 at 12:08 pm

    Laura, I am so sorry to hear about your father. He has been a tremendous support to me since my son was diagnosed with crohn’s at age ten. I had many conversations with him over the phone as well as communications through e-mail. I am amazed by the number of people he has helped through his research on this disease. His love for you is obvious in all the effort he put into making sure you had the right treatment. My thoughts are with you and your family. He was a wonderful man and will be missed by many.

  48. July 11, 2012 at 12:35 pm

    I am so sorry for you loss. For OUR loss. Your dad was saving lives with this site. If I can be of service in ANY way do not hesitate to contact me.

    • Laura
      July 13, 2012 at 10:19 pm

      Well Robb I for 1 would really push for you to support Alan’s work and research to the ccfa. He was working so hard for them to at least offer his studies to patients. I know you agree. PLEASE HELP!!! My daughter is living proof of the success! No mp6, remicade or Humira :(

  49. Ebony
    July 11, 2012 at 11:02 pm

    I am so sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

  50. Lindsey Abbott
    July 12, 2012 at 9:33 am

    Laura, your father was an inspiration and a pioneer in showing us all how to take charge of our own health and he must have changed many lives for the better.
    It’s hard to believe he has gone and I’m sure he would have been so proud of your words. Treasure the happy memories and hold on to his ability to stand apart from the herd and do what is right. Tears here and I only ‘spoke’ across the cold computer screen. Warmest wishes to you and your family.

  51. Crohns Mom
    July 12, 2012 at 1:09 pm

    How do you thank a person you have never known for giving your daughter (with Crohn’s) options after she has run out of them? I’m not sure, but Alan certainly deserves it. I am so VERY sorry for your loss. He helped more people than you will ever know and certainly loves his children. He empowered you and so many other people to take control of a disease that is difficult to control. That is an amazing blessing. My condolences to your family. Alan was legendary in my mind and for my daughter. He thought “outside of the box” which is exactly what we all needed. He will leave a huge gap for many of us.

  52. July 14, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    Wow, I’m so sorry to hear of your dad’s passing. :( We enjoyed having him as a member at crohnsforum.com and his wisdom and knowledge will be sorely missed.

    My most sincere of condolences.

  53. July 15, 2012 at 5:34 pm

    I’m just now hearing out this on the Crohn’s forum. I’m so sorry for your and everyone’s loss. He truly was a great man. My heart goes out to everyone.

  54. Tina
    July 16, 2012 at 12:20 am

    So sorry. I am new to the forum and just viewed the post.

  55. Wendy Burch
    July 16, 2012 at 11:57 am

    Laura, I will be happy to help you. Let me know what is in the cabinet and I can help you learn how to take them. I have cried tears for you and for the loss of your dad. I am one of his Crohn’s pals. He and I both were kicked off of some sites. Your dad was a great man and If I can help with the blog, I will be glad to. Just remember, he is still with you and watching over you. Love and hugs!

  56. Tua
    July 16, 2012 at 4:53 pm

    I am so sorry for your and your family’s loss. Even though I found this blog only recently, I must say that the death of your father is a loss also for all Crohn’s patients.

    I lost my father 3 months ago and I know how hard times you are living right now…
    My thoughts are with you and your family.

    Please keep the blog alive – I strongly believe that many people will find this blog extremely useful also in the future and personally I think that the things that I am going to learn here soon will benefit my little severy ill crohn’s son.

  57. Van Driessen
    July 17, 2012 at 12:31 am

    I knew your Dad from the 4 years I worked at Middlesex Savings Bank. I lost my wife when she was 51. We had a daughter about your age. I know it feels like a big hole in your life. It did for me. I think I cried some each day for 6 months. But you may have heard the statement that nature hates vacuums. Meaning that the hole in your life will be filled with the love you need. I found this to be true. Some things that help is to reach out to others in love. Another is to be grateful for the time you did have with your Dad and the fact that he loved you and you him. Nothing can change that and in fact he is still loving you and you are still loving him.

    I know my daughter struggled with bitterness over not having her mom around especially at things like her college graduation. But I think she would tell you that those thoughts are not helpful. Now 12 years later, she is grateful to have had a mom that she loved and loved her. It is a choice to be grateful for the good you did have and can be difficult at times to maintain that gratitude, but it will help you heal and it will help you to remember the good that does stay with you in your heart.

  58. July 19, 2012 at 9:59 am

    Dear Laura, How shocking for you. I simply can’t believe it.

    You should feel content Laura, your dad was so devoted to you and his entire family. Your dad was so happy to be loving you and your family, and he was so content himself. That is an amazing thing to find contentment in this life, and he did. He was a very good person, and well, that too is a great accomplishment isn’t it? Indeed.

    How utterly sad that you didn’t get to say good-bye or he to all of you. Very sad.

    You are going to Vassar?! That is no small feat, and surely he must have been SO SO SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!! Do your best for him, we all know you will.

    Find contentment too, and do your best as seeing all of the blessings that you have in your life, for to be loved by such a man as Alan is indeed a very great blessing. Many do not have such good fathers as you have, so shine your very brightest and enjoy your life. That would be the best way to say thank you to your dad, in my opinion.

    I knew your father in High School and we reconnected here.

    So very sad, Laura, I am so sorry for your loss.

    I’ll connect with you on Facebook. Please offer my sincere condolences to all your family.

    If you need to have someone to correspond with when you are down, don’t hesitate to contact me.

    Sincere Condolences to you,

    Dale Capozzoli

  59. Gary
    August 12, 2012 at 12:28 am

    That’s awful, very sorry to hear. I can’t imagine how you are feeling right now. I would be devastated to lose my mother or father. Nothing will ever be able to replace him, but you have your great memories with him and the rest of your family to help each other through this :).

    As far as the group goes, I just recently joined and am still learning myself. It is very helpful to read other people’s experiences and draw ideas of my own. I am working on getting a script for LDN and may start trying some different supplements soon. From what little perspective I have on the groups they are more of a forum for everyone to discuss their experiences and should need little moderation. I would be happy to help once I have a little better hold on all of the information I have been reading lately.

    • Gary
      August 12, 2012 at 12:33 am

      Ahh, I didn’t realize he had a website as well. As noted, I am very new to all this. I thought the reference was only to the yahoo group. Have some new reading to do now!

  60. danell brice
    September 11, 2012 at 9:43 am

    I am so sorry., Laura…your dad’s website saved my son’s life. He was an advocate and an inspiration to me and my son. Adam is healing. Laura, he loved you so much, dedicated his life to keeping you healthy. He is with you right now and so am I. Everything you need is in his core strategy, your diet, your supplements, all the links for continuing your healing. I am in tears as I am typing this to you. After leaving the Mayo clinic with Adam, and having no hope I hit my knees and prayed for help for my son. The next morning I found your father’s website and read everything, all the links, all his advice…he blogged me and encouraged me. He was a wonderful man. You should be very proud of not only what he did for you, but what he did for all of us. This wonderful man made a difference in my life and the life of my son. Blog here…we will help you through this. As a psychiatric nurse, I am also asking that you seek some counseling to help you through this difficult time. you are in my heart and my prayers. Danell Brice

  61. diana barr
    December 30, 2012 at 6:12 pm

    deal laura,

    we are new to all of this as my daughter was just diagnosed two weeks ago. I read every word your dad wrote. he has encouraged us and sent us on a healthy path. i only learned of his passing after reading his words and feeling so connected to him and now i ache for you. i too lost my dad as a teen to a sudden heart attack and know the shock and trauma. i also have four daughters- three of whom are in college and one a senior and i know what life is like for a new college student. how are you doing? i hope you are managing both the studies and your health well and bask in the love of your dad forever. wishing you strong health, sprit and joy. d

  62. Lesley
    February 3, 2013 at 2:39 pm

    Hi, I just happened upon this site and it has been so helpful. Thanks so much for not taking it down. I was very sorry to hear of your father’s death. My father died fairly young about 2 years ago. I can tell you that it gets easier. Fathers are amazing, and it is very hard when they go. I hope all is going well for you!

  1. July 10, 2012 at 6:10 pm
  2. July 11, 2012 at 2:06 am

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 189 other followers

%d bloggers like this: